I never thought that being pregnant would give me some insight into Ryan's Cancer, but it has.
I always looked at his side effects and couldn't really relate. But then I got pregnant.
Oh, women who have been pregnant know what I am talking about:
Nausea and vomiting.
Fear of bad things happening.
Swollen ankles and legs.
Feeling full quickly after eating.
Bathroom issues (in pregnancy, from the hormones; in Cancer, from the pain meds).
Not feeling like yourself.
But then I thought about the ending -- how I know the hoped for outcome of pregnancy and it's SUCH a good one! Does Ryan get a good ending to his Cancer journey?
Yes, yes he does! There is victory, either way.
If he stays here on earth a little longer, he gets to be with us and celebrate this new little life and enjoy his other daughter and wife too.
And if he dies, he gets to be in Heaven with Jesus forever!
Paul said in Philippians 1:21: "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain."
So, like Paul, whether Ryan is here or in Heaven, He is given the hope in the Savior, or the Savior Himself.
I wish it didn't take living parallel lives in order for me to be more empathetic to my husband's condition, but it's done just that.
And it's made me closer to both him and Heaven.